Order Up! Dot’s Guide to Surviving the Holidays Without Burning the House Down (Or Your Dignity)
Hey kitchen staff, it’s Dot.
The holidays are looming, which means you’re about to spend a lot of time answering the same three questions from your family: When is it going to be ready? Did you remember to take the giblets out? and Why are you still single?
Personally, I handle the holiday stress the only way a seasoned pro knows how—with a heavy dose of sarcasm and an outfit that says, “I’m here for the buffet, not the small talk.”
We just rolled out the new Holiday Menu at Appetite Apparel, and I am officially declaring it your festive survival gear. Here is my hot take on what you should be wearing to the dinner table (and what your dog should be wearing to outshine your relatives).
The Main Course Outfits:
If you’re the one running the kitchen—or just the one judge-watching the person running the kitchen—you need the Family Recipe Turkey Chef Tee.
It features a cartoon turkey holding a cooked turkey, with the text “it’s a family recipe.” It’s dark, it’s chaotic, and it’s the exact energy needed for Thanksgiving dinner.
If anyone asks when dinner is ready while you're rushing around, just point to the Just in Thyme Tee. Yes, it’s a terrible pun. No, I will not apologize for it.
And for those inevitable moments when Aunt Linda asks about your love life? Slip into the Currently Dating Tee. It leaves no room for interpretation and keeps the mood exactly where it belongs: on the food.
For the Four-Legged Kitchen Staff
Let’s be honest, your dog behaves better than half your guests anyway. Reward them with something from our premium knitted pet sweater line.
The Holiday Ham Knitted Pet Sweater is an absolute masterpiece for the pup who spends the entire day staring at the oven door.
If you’re more of a dessert person, the Yule Log Knitted Pet Sweater features that stacked text layout we spent ages obsessing over.
And for the chaotic dogs out there, the I Eat Snow sweater as a mandatory winter uniform.
The holidays are stressful, but looking better than everyone else doesn’t have to be. Hit the link below to shop the collection before the kitchen closes.
Order up!
— Dot